HAENG BOK HA GIL BA RAE (LIM HYUNG JOO)

translations...

You cried as you saw a different place in these eyes
Then because I hated you so much
I followed suit too

I tore you apart from my longing
It hurts me and it kills me
But I hope you’re happier with my love

Ah~ ah~ ah~ Ah~~~~…

If you look back to the hard times
You’ll see that I’m always there
I left there completely
Because of your tears

You are alone in the space I left
The thing was that we couldn’t be together
These days I love you so much
That’s become the reason for not being able to go

I tore you apart from my longing
It hurts me and it kills me
But I hope you’re happier with my love

I hope you’re happier,
I hope you’re happy…..

p/s: For the first time I heard this song... it touches me so much... eventhough i dont understand what is it tell.... It just get into my heart... and it hurt me so much.... by that time I knew... This is my song.... my expression that I dont know how to tell....

We Can?? or Just a Weekend...

Finally....it's weekend....yeay!!

For me this weekend is very important.... cozz it is a transition between 2 postings... FamMed n CommMed...

Need to sum up evrything from FamMed posting... before it'll be forgotten... n need to prepare so many things for my welcoming CommMed posting.... Huuh... very tiring...

Hopefully, this weekend will resume my strength n energy.... for the next next day... insyaallah...

(thats why semalam tido awal gile n bgn lambat kul 6 pg....huhu....berjam2 lamenye...)

So... for today... dont wanna waste time.... Hopefully for the better, I can see my life in it....

This morning...ujan plak tue.... mmg seswai sgt2... for pondering n remeniscing (betul ke aku eje... spelling mase skolah rendah dulu fail kot...hehe)...

Every bad things happened in the past.... just left them in a past.... don't u ever ever let them follow u....but still not forgotten.... (maybe some of it...is kind of punishment for u.... that u have to accept.... for the good)....

and For Every good things in my life (if there is).... hopefully will cheer me up a lil bit.... coz.. my life (insyaallah, by God's will)....is long long more to go.... We cannot sleep in our past dream memories... so how can we create a new one.... that actually making us what we are in a future...

(Opps!! enuf dah melalut.... back to the actual point?... em.. ade ke point?)....

Actually... just wanna say Happy Weekend for All.... Lets use it usefully.... if games will make u hepi.... ok fine play it... if sleep, u always wanted to do it previously.... sleep then....

Otherwise.... what else left in our life after that... mybe.... u dont remember that by the time we work.... we have never done this before....

So, do what u wanna do....(jgn melanggari syariah sudey....hehe...)... but at the same time.... useful even kene ade..... and plus Remembering Allah as usual..... everyday every second everytime.... so he will remember u too.... Amin... (always put my name at the end...hehe... means a lot of things)

Bagai Tikus Membaiki Labu??

That statement....I guess suits my current condition... but a lil bit of modification... that Tikus... could be educated?? or being cursed (it is human actually).... What i'm tryin to say... that labu will end up... not to be eaten la... it really being fixed at the end...

Cam nie cite die yg sebenarnye....Being given a task as team leader for doing research with a very very tiny small little cuetie knowledge bout research.... what do u thinks it will be??

At first... of cozz lots of problem came... even... the title also we confused...haha... (ke aku je yg confius??)

But I'll try to do the best that I can... for our research... Of cozz need to sacrife so many things in my life.... (it's ok kot... since there's nothing much left in my life pon..haha)...

For my team member.... I know... this gonna be tough...difficult.... n un comfortable for u/ some of u guys.... but we have to do it as a team... I need u.... to help me... to make it happen..

It doesn't matter... what our brain might said?? (boleh ke? hayo..group lepas buat bagus la.... ape nie..tak tau ape2 pon... nak buat ape pas nie.....OMG OMG....etc etc)...

as long we have patient n passion (anything with the same sound could be true...)...

as long as we are together.... as long as we trust each other....helping each other....

I'm sure... thats all we need.... to make things impossible to be true....

Dgn berbekalkan hati yang suci (mcm that makcik said... @ klinik beserah..)... insyaallah... Allah will guide us.... same2 la kite berdoa ok....

Hopefully.... Our research will get to it's end.... Amin...

Pilu Dalam Kekuatan....

Tatkala jari jemari rancak menekan butang2 hitam di komputer riba.... menyiapkan kerja2 tertangguh yg masyaallah banyaknye.... aku tersentak sebak tiba2.... entah ape yg berlegar dalam minda ku yg separa sedar ini....

Pilu hatiku... semakin menjadi2... segala kerja aku hentikan.... dan terus berpeluk tubuh dan menggeletar seluruhnya....

Jiwa ku semakin tidak tenteram.... daku kuatkan hati beristighfar sedalam2nya... syaitan nauzubillah.... tidak habis2 menggangu dan menghasut anak2 adam...

Aku kemudian merebahkan diri ku ke katil dan mengerekot dan memeluk segala bantal2 yg ade... masih beristighfar lagi.... dan di selangi dgn menyebut kalimah Allah....

Tanpa disedari.... manik2 kecil terungkai di celah2 sudut mata ku.... membasahi bantal yg ku pegang begitu erat....

Teruskan beristighfar.... sambil beberapa kata nasihat keluar dari bibirku... menasihati hati ku agar terus bersabar.... sabar dan sabar... jgn henti lagi... jgn kalah dgn syaitan yg di laknat itu....

Setelah beberapa minit berlalu.... hatiku kembali tenteram.... aku bercakap dgn diriku sendiri... mungkin org akan menganggap.... schizophreniakah aku? namun aku tahu, Tuhan yg membantu aku..... melalui bibirku... yg mana mmg segalanya atas aturanNya.....

Aku mengambil satu nafas lega... bersyukur ke hadrat Allah....

Aku sebenarnye... di datangi satu ujian.... UJIAN DUNIA.... aku bersyukur, aku berjaya melepasinya.... harap2... aku akan terus berjaya melepasi ujian ini di masa akan datang....

Ya Allah.... jgn Engkau menjauhi dirimu dariku.... Aku tahu walaupun aku insan hina.... Aku tetap menginginkan Engkau selalu bersama ku....

TanpaMu... Aku rapuh...

TanpaMu...Aku mati...

TanpaMu...Aku bodoh....

TanpaMu....Aku kosong....

Jgnlah Engkau biarkan aku sendirian di dunia yg Engkau sendiri cipta.... Aku tak kisah... jikalau aku akan berterusan sebegini.... asalkan Engkau redha akan diriku.....

Jadikan aku insan yg sentiasa dekat dgnMu.... Manusia itu mati, lemah dan perit....

Ikatlah aku padaMu..... Butakan mataku... Pekakkan telingaku... Sekatlah nafsuku....

Potonglah anggota tangan kaki ku.....

Namun...Biarkan nafasku kekal berhembus.... kerana setiap hembusan itu ku harap akan menyebut namaMu.....

Putuskanlah ia.... bila sampai waktunya, hembusan yg membina jalan titian ke arah syurga....

Agar daku tidak kandas dan senang mencari jalan kearah keredhaanMu Tuhan.....

Amin.....Ya Rabbal aalamin......